I woke up this morning exhausted. Again. My teenagers were up again last night, doing the things that teenagers do in the middle of the night. At midnight, I was awoken by some rumbling around and sure enough, my daughter was up for some reason or another. Later, at 2 AM the dog needed to go pee. Because once again, my daughter did not force the dog to go when she took her out at 11 PM. So, here I sit at work, finally at least awake, but tired, unfocused and craving a good afternoon nap I'll never get.
No one ever tells you how exhausting having a family will become. You only learn it as you live it day by day, until one day you're in your very late forties, and you and your wife look at each other in the morning with tired wanting eyes that tell the story you're just too tired to even discuss.
How do you make a productive career when you're a worn out parent. When you wake on so many mornings and have to fight through such a thick fog of exhaustion? I was asking myself this question this morning when I realized that the how is not nearly as important as the why. Because even though my kids are keeping me up late and driving me crazy at any given moment, they are two of the most beautiful creatures I've ever had the luck to encounter and Laura and I have created them. They are our greatest work. They are the fuel that keeps us going when it seems it would be so much easier to just stop.
My career. My goals. My entire existence as a human being is now devoted to them and always will be. So, in answer to the question I posed in the title of this post, I suppose the answer is..."No. Keep going..."